DinoBite20

deathpov:

not to be nsfw but can someone hold my hand and do the thumb rub thing

funnytwittertweets:

thebootydiaries:

Me: oh thats cute

*checks price tag*

Me: no its not

thebootydiaries:

You: hooty hoo

Me, an intellectual: whomty whom?

thebootydiaries:

me: *gets a bad idea*

me: great idea

theyellowbrickroad:

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

dingdongyouarewrong:

hymnostic:

vet-and-wild:

scots-dragon:

doubleca5t:

wern:

And on the opposite end of the spectrum.

So as someone who has a name like this, we know. You are not clever for pointing it out and yes that’s our real name.

don’t forget Robin Mahfood

ginasholtsoundboard:

it’s the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century.

you can only reblog this today.